Was she lost
or just transported
to another world?
Of lush grass in hues of
emerald and rust.
Of sunlight splaying
from light blue skies.
Of a distant home
Beckoning in its stillness.
Enveloped in solitude
and a strange sense of quiet,
she gazed with longing,
a quiet urgency
into the expanse
ahead.
The indescribable longing
this yearning to reach out
to be cradled,nurtured
cosseted in warmth and love
so palpable yet so subtle
in the tremble of her body
She tried to move
but could not..
She tried to cross the
barriers of her helplessness and anguish…..
But she remained frozen in that
moment forever.
Gazing at her home,
So distant in its allure
So inviting in its warmth
Yet far beyond her reach.
This was written for a Writing Exercise for a Writers Board,one of my few attempts!
June 2005
11 comments:
I love the exercise...writing from a picture. You did a great job capturing what it would feel like to be trapped in a picture or one moment in time. I found the last stanza quite interesting:
Gazing at her home,
So distant in its allure
So inviting in its warmth
Yet far beyond her reach.
I never pictured this to be her home, but it seems to fit. She is lost, but knows exactly where she is. Well done.
"She tried to cross the
barriers of her helplessness and anguish…..
But she remained frozen in that
moment forever."
I like the analogy of the physical barrier of distance and the internal barriers of he4lplessness and anguish. I often feel like you write form the deepest recesses of your soul. I see you in this picture, your vision, your disposition, your longing.
I've always felt that things written from the heart are the most profound. You are so good at this.
Stan-Thanks so much!I enjoyed doing this exercise because the words just flowed.
Mermaid,I write only what i can feel or else it comes out all wrong.Here i saw the paiting and i found it very powerful in its starkness.The words just flowed naturally as if i could identify with the girl.
M,thks! :)
"Was she lost
or just transported
to another world?"
This was a very intriguing beginning.
its wonderful jyotsna!! so lovely
loved these lines
"The indescribable longing
this yearning to reach out
to be cradled,nurtured
cosseted in warmth and love
so palpable yet so subtle
in the tremble of her body" aah!
A ,Perspective,Iris,thanks a lot for dropping by and the comments..
I had that picture in my english o level 35 years ago.I didnt know what to say about it then and i dont know what to say about it now.It is full of the unknown to me.I think the house is like what might have been but is now unreachable.But then again Im drunk.
'lost or transported to another world.'
that really resonated with me.
gulnaz
Gazing at her home,
So distant in its allure
So inviting in its warmth
Yet far beyond her reach.
Loved reading your work...Its amazing how made that photo so alive
What the?
its a good paihnting but whats with the poem?
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