why do i not accept that
when something leaves my life
it is always for something new and fresh to enter.
like the freshness of the morning ocean breeze
after a warm,sultry night.
like the sight of a morning sun
gentle and soothing as it
rises behind the dank and dirty shanties.
like the beautiful crimson sun
as it dips into the sea
after a hard and tiring day.
like the soft sounds of the ocean waves
amidst the cacophony of noises
why cannot i let go and be free?
Written in not so lucid moments of mental disarray
March 2005
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Thursday, March 24, 2005
I am
I am a fragile clay pot
easily molded
easily broken....
Handle me with care for,
I have a soul within
brimming with wisdom and love....
easily molded
easily broken....
Handle me with care for,
I have a soul within
brimming with wisdom and love....
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
The Magical Curtain
As I step into my mother-in-law's home in Delhi, to my right is a curtain, a simple printed piece of cotton cloth that flutters gently in the cool breeze.
This curtain is the entrance to a home, the family retainer's home where his family resides but to me this curtain has always spelt "magic”. I have never been able to pinpoint why. Maybe it’s because I have never crossed beyond it. Maybe I have spun endless daydreams over it and what lies within. Maybe my idle thoughts have conjured up an image of an Aladdin’s cave. Where I, as a child would be allowed to explore its nooks and crannies and find something magical and mysterious in there...
Aaah but it’s just a curtain...why this magical feel, this constant allure..?
My children would barge through the curtain without hesitation or restraint. And in my vivid imgination, they seemed to vanish into this magical labyrinth...Oh how I envied them!I could hear their laughter and merriment within, the whoops of glee, the sounds of joy and childish laughter. I would be waiting to ask them about the home, the people that lived there and they would always reply,"Mamma, the quarters are so beautiful...it is so much fun" What do you do there"? I asked.” We play hide and seek Ma and it feels nice in there”, my older one would reply. Well their smiling and joyous faces was evidence enough of the fun they had in the little magical place that had invaded my thoughts totally by then.
My keenness to enter beyond that curtain was so strong that I just had to go in.
I did...yes I did! The door behind the curtain was never closed. All I had to do was to gently brush aside the curtain and step inside. I entered to find a warm, simple and colorful home with its wafting aroma of mustard oil and scented incense sticks...and the shy smiling faces of the family that lived there. They welcomed me warmly without letting me feel in any way that my visit was intrusive. I made no attempt at refusing a cup of tea that was offered so graciously. After all I was in no hurry.
I had finally crossed the curtain. And the magical part of this simple quarter was that it was indeed a labyrinth with different wooden doors leading to different parts of their home and each door had a curtain...a simple magical alluring piece of printed cotton cloth....!
This curtain is the entrance to a home, the family retainer's home where his family resides but to me this curtain has always spelt "magic”. I have never been able to pinpoint why. Maybe it’s because I have never crossed beyond it. Maybe I have spun endless daydreams over it and what lies within. Maybe my idle thoughts have conjured up an image of an Aladdin’s cave. Where I, as a child would be allowed to explore its nooks and crannies and find something magical and mysterious in there...
Aaah but it’s just a curtain...why this magical feel, this constant allure..?
My children would barge through the curtain without hesitation or restraint. And in my vivid imgination, they seemed to vanish into this magical labyrinth...Oh how I envied them!I could hear their laughter and merriment within, the whoops of glee, the sounds of joy and childish laughter. I would be waiting to ask them about the home, the people that lived there and they would always reply,"Mamma, the quarters are so beautiful...it is so much fun" What do you do there"? I asked.” We play hide and seek Ma and it feels nice in there”, my older one would reply. Well their smiling and joyous faces was evidence enough of the fun they had in the little magical place that had invaded my thoughts totally by then.
My keenness to enter beyond that curtain was so strong that I just had to go in.
I did...yes I did! The door behind the curtain was never closed. All I had to do was to gently brush aside the curtain and step inside. I entered to find a warm, simple and colorful home with its wafting aroma of mustard oil and scented incense sticks...and the shy smiling faces of the family that lived there. They welcomed me warmly without letting me feel in any way that my visit was intrusive. I made no attempt at refusing a cup of tea that was offered so graciously. After all I was in no hurry.
I had finally crossed the curtain. And the magical part of this simple quarter was that it was indeed a labyrinth with different wooden doors leading to different parts of their home and each door had a curtain...a simple magical alluring piece of printed cotton cloth....!
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Each Day
Sometimes
A celebration
Positively magic
Energizing
Silent and still.....
Dark cloud
Dreary
Enervating
Noisy and raucous.....
Is it my day or is this my mind’s perception?
A celebration
Positively magic
Energizing
Silent and still.....
Dark cloud
Dreary
Enervating
Noisy and raucous.....
Is it my day or is this my mind’s perception?
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Mask
Why wear a mask
Put on a facade
When we have
A core of goodness within?
Its difficult to wear,
Impossible to remove
Ugly to perceive
So why do we persist with the
mask over our lives?
Put on a facade
When we have
A core of goodness within?
Its difficult to wear,
Impossible to remove
Ugly to perceive
So why do we persist with the
mask over our lives?
Flowing with life
Ever had one of those days when you wake up feeling out of sync..a sense of disharmony between mind and body ...a sense of conflict within.I have had one of thoese days today. I spent some time meditating on why I could be feeling this way,tried to become aware of my thoughts and the patterns.It seemed more of a struggle then as my mind wandered far away from where it had started off ....
I have noticed,some days seem just fine and some seem so conflicting emotions wise...and somewhere along the way I have also learnt that when i flow with the day and what it brings,it goes just fine.But when I start resisting what is happening thereby constricting my natural flow,it becomes a conflicting day..
Just release the resistance to change and move forward with what each day brings....
I hope this lesson sticks with me...!!
Just a thought :)
"I need to train my mind
It doesn’t do what I say
Need to learn to tune its engine
For very often it strays.
My body is like a vehicle
That each day I ride
Sometimes I race and dash
Sometimes I veer to the side."
I have noticed,some days seem just fine and some seem so conflicting emotions wise...and somewhere along the way I have also learnt that when i flow with the day and what it brings,it goes just fine.But when I start resisting what is happening thereby constricting my natural flow,it becomes a conflicting day..
Just release the resistance to change and move forward with what each day brings....
I hope this lesson sticks with me...!!
Just a thought :)
"I need to train my mind
It doesn’t do what I say
Need to learn to tune its engine
For very often it strays.
My body is like a vehicle
That each day I ride
Sometimes I race and dash
Sometimes I veer to the side."
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Soulful
No more soft whispers
or honeyed phrases
mingling of our breath
or moments of stealth
Just carelessly flung words
Like lances that pierce my soul…
I plead..Don’t bar the door on me
Don’t make us go our separate ways
Don’t show me your ugly ego mask
Just let us..let us be complete together
You and I..
As you walk out of the door
and my life….
or honeyed phrases
mingling of our breath
or moments of stealth
Just carelessly flung words
Like lances that pierce my soul…
I plead..Don’t bar the door on me
Don’t make us go our separate ways
Don’t show me your ugly ego mask
Just let us..let us be complete together
You and I..
As you walk out of the door
and my life….
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