Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Setting goals

I never knew setting a goal for myself would be such a challenging process. I don’t mean just any goal but a goal which fitted into the parameters of Specific-Measurable-Ambitious-Realistic-Timebound-Ethical-Relevant.In short I had to set a SMARTER goal for myself. I could not say creating a better life for myself was my goal because it wasn’t specific enough. Soon I understood that most of what I wished for myself wasn’t a goal in the true sense of the word. And soon enough I also realized that among my group of 50, I was the only one floundering with setting a goal.

I tried it this way. Started from scratch. I wrote down my interests and my passions (!), what excited me, what drove me but by the end of it I was more confused. I asked A, asked friends and still nothing was clear. Everything I did and felt passionate about was to do with my children especially D.I could not imagine a goal that did not involve her. I ultimately realized that I had to work towards a goal that did not necessarily exclude her. I had to take care of her needs along with my own needs as an individual. Being a parent was just one part of me. (As if I didn’t know it). Maybe over the last 8 years, I had relegated all other parts to the background...

Why set a goal for myself at 42? Was it a mid life crisis or just a need to discover my lost identity? Or plain boredom? I don’t know. But I do know that the last 3 months of 2008 for me was a period of soul searching. I had plenty of questions for myself as to where I was heading as an individual. Some part of me also understood that I had to feed my inner self so that I could take care of others around me effortlessly. And the timing seemed right. I had the time, I had the energy and I had the willingness to learn and create an identity for myself.

Along the way of questioning, I interacted with few friends who were already doing something they loved. I asked them how they had discovered their passion. No one really went about discovering their passions, I understood then. It just happened along the way.
So I decided to let things be, gave up the mental struggle allowing things to simply happen and unfold.

And they have. And once I decided on a goal for myself, from that very moment, new doors are opening to lead me towards it. I find it an amazing journey so far.


Echoes said...


I looked but could not see find email id.. dont think you'd remember me.. I used to follow your writings regularly earlier.. and stumbled upon your blog again today.. shall continue to read you.. hope to hear from you.. wd like to connect..

Known Stranger said...

Is this what wise men call " flowing like a river ?"

flowergirl said...

Good luck! I like your SMARTER standard....agood way of looking at things.

mermaid said...

Knowing what we are passionate about and what we are willing to live for is very important food for our souls. Without my passions, I don't think I could see or understand my daughter clearly. How is the soul searching coming along?

Jyotsna said...

Thanks Echoes..am glad you came by my blog..

KS-i dont know about flowing like a river but i do try to flow with what life offers me :)

thankyou flower girl

mermaid,my soul searching is underway and the universe seems to be opening new doors for me evr since i took a decision..:)