Children can be unknowingly cruel.It took me a while to understand that especially after D's birth.When anything deviates from the norm,they can be cruel in their ignorance.Do we need lessons on how to accept something or someone who is different from ourselves?Do children need to understand that from their parents?
Skating classes have commenced recently in the place we live.D hasn't joined the class due to her limitations although it is a sore point with her.The teacher however insists she come and watch the kids skate and play the games post skating.Yesterday was one such day when D joined in the games.She was happy and excited about it as she is on most Monday's and Wednesday's.It was a running relay race and D was leading one line and a small boy the other line.The instructor asked the kids to join the lines but no one wanted to join D's line.The reason was obvious.No one wanted to lose the race .I saw the kids crying and even stomping their feet on the ground adamant about not joining the line.All because they would not win.
A part of me went out for D,not because she was my daughter or that she had limitations.She remained blissfully unaware that the children were throwing tantrums because of her being there.She never understood that her limitations were being perceived as a disadvantage by the other children.And there was a sadness in me seeing the children so focused on winning ,so totally focused 'only' on winning that they had forgotten the simple joys of just playing a game for fun.
For me D was way ahead of the rest.Not only was she delighted about the whole game and taking part in a relay,she did it with total joy despite stumbling and falling.She reached the finish line with a loud 'yeeeaahhh'.. while the rest of the kids sulked and ran.
There are times when I wonder if I will ever stop getting emotional about her and her experiences as she grows.But then A always tells me-'Toughen up"!!.I haven't yet.
11 comments:
May she always be in the moment, and let her light continue to shine despite the ignornace around her. Winning is grasping, and D doesn't even have to try hard to let go:)
May you always get emotional over her and feel the connection, always.
I can understand how you feel. Things will be fine. Take care.
Take care...and from a purely male perspective, I am sure he means tough as in 'strong' tough not 'insensitive' tough
mermaid-thanks..i guess i wont stop the emotions..or rather i cannot stop them :)
thanks mary for dropping by
e-- true..i agree with the male perspective entirely but emotions are also strong tough no? :p . thanks for droppng by
Am coming here after a long time Jo, and see that you've been writing away.
This post is so true, about the cruelty of kids, and the importance of winning in their lives. Weren't we also like that when we were kids?
Thanks flowergirl..true about cruelty but re the winning phobia is something that didnt exist for me when i was a 7 year old.Life was simpler then perhaps :)
thanks for dropping by
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Please read:
http://madraswanderer.blogspot.com/2008/11/arte-y-pico-award.html
a little off topic- can u mail me where this skating class is conducted? in chennai?
artnavy@rediffmail.com
winning is an important aspect of life if u see it the other way our D has always accepted challenges in life n hv come true to her expectations when orthopedic said she wont walk n there she is walking running or when paedriatician told she wont b there with us but there she is smiling n giving me trouble in some nice ways.so D has always won that wining killer instinct is there in her since her birth so what to say about those 7 n 5yrs old.my D has a long way to go n im sure she will find her way.love you.
Its not fair to blame the kids. Parents, actually our society (and that means every one of us), are only focused on winning. How many are fine with just playing - not too many!
What I see is reorientation need for all of us. If only we could do things joyously - giving our 100% and yet playing because we have a life that offers us an opportunity to play.
Diti is blessed and because of her you too, for you get to see something that few of us are privileged to become aware of. Thank you for giving me this moment of reflection and awareness.
Hugs
I think these emotional moments are there for us to realize how precious these lil kids are with their special gifts given from above.I enjoy these lumps in my throat every time I hear a new story of challenge being met.They make us realize how lucky we are to have them as they have taught us to be HUMAN.She is a winner alright in the true sense of the word as a loving family is there behind her to cheer for her.Wishing you many more such happy moments.
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