Saturday, April 01, 2006

As I get ready yet another time for my daughter's 3rd Botox surgical procedure,I ask myself -am I ready to handle it yet again?I am resigned about it and for me thats a dreadful way to feel.To accept something out of a resigned attitude.Am I too tired to ask and question,enquire and probe ...have I become jaded about her treatment?Like being caught up in a familar rut and not wanting to climb out of it!

As she grows each day(she is now 4 years,5 months and 2 days old) and I put her to sleep each night,a feeling of tenderness arises in me.Some moments are precious-as her head lies on my chest,her curly hair with its lingering traces of shampoo and the night's dinner,her steady heartbeat,warm breath and the way her fingers curl around my hair tightly as if not wanting to let go.Tears flow,yes they do but they are tears of strength and of finally acknowledging what I really want for her.

I want her to stand,to walk,to run,to hop,skip and jump,to dance with the wind and reach for the clouds and to cherish her life and the joy of movement.I want the very best that life has to offer for her and nothing else.



I owe this to a dear friend-Asmita who helped me understand the importance of acknowledging one's wants.

11 comments:

Shankari said...

Dear Jyotsna,

Glad to see this window open after so long.

This from a mom who was so obsessed as to have an excel chart to monitor even things like my kid's BMs! But if I feel we are half way out of the woods- its been largely due to my excellent extended family- a support group of sorts. We each need to do what we have to- just helps to know at times that we aren't alone there.

((((( ))))

mermaid said...

We want so much more for our daughters, more than we could have ever imagined for ourselves.

I think she feels your wishes every time a raindrop lands on her forehead, or a ray of slanted sunshine falls on her countenance.

Heretic said...

Dearest Jyo,

God bless you, and your lovely kid. May you forever have the strength within.

Hug.
D

Anonymous said...

Every time when I come to visit you I blow puffs of air sprinkled with many prayers. Please keep on being strong

Luv
Nasra

ac

gautami tripathy said...

Keep faith. Thats very important. May GOD give you strength.

Gautami

Pragya said...

It will happen Jyo, it will.

Pragya

Blue Athena said...

Insha Allah, Jyo!

Faith is the biggest healer of them all.

*hugs*

Jyotsna said...

Thankyou shankari--great to have you here.Can well understand your feelings.
Mermaid-yes we do want a lot for our children.Thanks for your lovely words.
Heretic-thanks for the warm wishes of strength..we need them.
Nasra..good to see you here.Thanks friend.
Gautami-Thanks for the wishes
Prags--:) good to see you here.And am reassured by your words.
Preeti--faith is the only thing that keeps us going..all of us!
:)

IRIS said...

May god bless diti with the best!!!!

Quicksilver! said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Quicksilver! said...

From your lip's to God's ears:)

Before you know it Diti will stand, walk, run, hop,skip and jump, dance with the wind and reach for the clouds.It will happen Jyo,and very soon:))))))))))

M!:)